Barbie World (Baby Doll Series) Read online

  I decide to go with my gut intuition with her and act. I cannot let things linger too long between us or else, she might bolt. I just want to feel her lips on mine. It is selfish of me but I want to conquer her, to keep her rooted to the floor and here with me. My body craves everything about her. I push stray pieces of hair off her sweaty forehead. She looks freaking hot.

  “I am going to kiss you,” I say before I lean in to her. She makes no attempt to move, her body relaxing more into me.

  I take my time, slowly and deliberately, taking in the feeling of her soft lips on mine. How did a guy like me get a girl like her to want to kiss me? If it has anything to do with these fireworks that are going off inside my chest, I hope they never stop. She pushes up on her toes, wrapping her arms around my neck and I pull her closer. She kisses me fast and equally as desperate. I want to hold onto this moment forever. Just her and me.

  She pulls away and kisses me on my lips once more before disappearing into the dark without a word.

  I stay leaned up against the wall, a little zone of safety. An impenetrable bubble. I can still smell her sweet skin on my shirt. I pull my shirt up to my nose and inhale deeply.

  “There you are, I have been looking everywhere for you. Why did you run off like that?” Katie question.

  I look up at her, my throat burning. Oh, holy shit, I need to get a handle on myself because I feel like I am losing my dang mind. Did that just really happen or did I imagine the whole scenario?

  Chapter 12.

  Barbie

  I make my way back to the stage. My legs are shaking so bad I can barely walk. Kai is unplugging himself from the speakers; he sets down his guitar and jumps down off the stage when he sees me coming. A group of girls stop, intercepting him before he can reach me. They surround him, making a fence of hot girls. He smiles politely at them, nodding to their swoons over him. He signs a few things and even poses for a couple of pictures. I like watching him in his element. Is this what it would be like to be with him? Band rehearsals, watching him play at nights in local clubs. Making out with boys behind his back while he plays. I shake my head, ridding the thought from my mind. And how does Everett fit in? Kai hasn’t even met him yet.

  He poses one last time before excusing himself and heading towards me. One of the girls shoots me a dirty look and I resist the urge to wiggle my fingers in a wave at her. Instead, I just smile at Kai.

  “You sounded amazing.” I say as he sits down next to me on a bar stool and leans it towards me. “Yeah, well, you look amazing. I have a new muse.” He says as he takes me in. I feel the lingering flush on my skin, heat. Not from him. “Come dance with me.” He holds out his long fingers and I carefully slip my hand into his long cool fingers.

  We sway together in unison and I try to forget about Dylan. I lean my head on Kai’s shoulder trying to squeezing Dylan from my thoughts. Why did he have to kiss me? Why did I let him? Dylan unwinds me leaving me open. Feeling desperate to feel everything the world has to offer. Stop. I can’t think like that, thoughts like that are dangerous He almost makes me forget about the storm brewing inside me. Dylan consists of all the elements that go into creating the perfect storm. I am desperate to forget him.

  “I have a better idea. Let’s get out of here, just me and you.” I reach up and finger a lock of his black hair.

  “I think it is about time you gave me a tour of that back room.” I give him a knowing smile.

  Before I can make a another peep he grabs my hand and leads me off the dance floor to a back room that says “Band” spray painted on the door in red graffiti letters.

  “Out,” he commands Aiden, who is sprawled out on a ripped leather couch. He is still shirtless and he’s playing his drum sticks on his knee.

  “But…” he protests.

  “Now.” Kai shows him the door.

  “Fine, but that is really uncool, man.” Aiden slinks by me pouting. “There is a code you know, bro’s before…” I cock my brow waiting for that last word. “Girls,” He says. Kai slams the door shut in his face.

  The door has only just shut before I rocket myself into Kai’s arms, pushing him backwards. We slam hard into the wall, but don’t lose a moment in the desperation. I grip at his long-sleeved, grey shirt, pulling it over his head. He yanks at the bottom of my tank top and I help him pull it off. I should take a moment to relish in the beauty that Kai is, because the boy is beautiful in a dark, tortured way. Maybe that is what attracts me to him; we both have the F-you attitude towards the world around us. I don’t know why Kai is tortured. I don’t know a freaking thing about him and I don’t care at this moment. I only need him to do this one thing for me, to be the calm amongst the storm and erase the pictures of Dylan from my mind. I run my hand up and the back down the ripple of his hard stomach He captures my mouth in his, pushing my lips apart his tongue slips deep into my mouth. His hands roam freely over my black lace bra sending tiny sparks of pleasure trough my core. Somewhere in the back of my mind the night in the truck resurfaces. I push my mouth harder against Kai’s until our teeth clatter together. Desperate to erase Dylan.

  Kai has kissed me before, mostly just small stolen kisses. This time it is different for him. There is a heat and passion behind his kisses, a need and a void that he is hoping I will fill for him; however I know that I won’t. He picks me up wrapping my legs around his hips, he moves us to the couch and he flops down and his hands once again begin their exploration. We are both messed up in the head, this is a perfect combination. This time I am relieved there are no fireworks going off inside me. That familiar numb feeling I had lost, starts to surface. God, yes. This is what I need; to feel nothing at all. Just to be lost in the motions of the actions, not the feelings. For a moment, everyone I hurt for leaves my mind. And the one I want to forget becomes just a blur.

  Kai flips me so I lie next to him. He starts to unzip my shorts and I lift up letting them slide down my legs. I know if I do this it will take me to the point of complete numbness. He rubs small circles on the top of my panties.Wait… my head clouds over with the pure bliss of numbness as his hand slips under my panties and finds the wet between my legs.

  Wait.

  Bliss.

  Numb.

  Wait.

  Bliss.

  Numb.

  Dylan.

  Wait.

  Dylan.

  Oh my god. The weight of Kai crushes down on me, and I can feel how bad he wants this between my legs. He pushes against me, only the thin fabric of my panties and his jeans separating us. This is what I wanted him to do for me. I can do this. I squeeze my eyes shut. The tingle of numbness grows between my legs. I always thought this is how it would happen, some guy I barely know in the back of a seedy bar…but that was before Dylan, before I knew what being exposed really felt like. He begins to remove them slowly down my thighs. Dylan’s face breaks through the haze in my mind, and I feel like I am going to be sick.

  “Wait,” I think I say out loud this time. “Wait,” I say again with more conviction. Kai stills, looking down at me. “I am a virgin,” I blurt.

  His brows furrow. “But… I.” He sits up.

  “I am sorry,” I apologize as I pull my shorts back up. Why am I sorry? Because I am a virgin? Or because I am using him? Or because I am only willing to give that gift to one person? “I’m not ready, yet.”

  He takes a deep, centering breath. “That’s cool. I just thought… that…” he stutters.

  “That I sleep around?” I ask, not mad at all because that is what most people think of me.

  “No. Yes. No. I just didn’t take you for a virgin; you are so… aggressive.”

  I laugh. “Aggressive?” I have been called a lot of names-slut, whore, easy, but aggressive? That is a first.

  “Not in a bad way. I like it. I’m sorry,” he apologizes again. “I’m just surprised. I’ll take you home.” He hands me my shorts fro off the floor. I have never done a walk of shame, but I feel an unfamiliar burn on my cheeks as I leave t
he room with Kai. I get an evil look from a girl who is lurking by the band door, she mumbles “slut” as we pass. she is right. I am no better than the words that I am called.

  “Don’t listen to her. She has been prowling around the band since we started. She is just mad because I wouldn’t sleep with her when she tried,” Kai says. A twinge of jealousy flairs inside me, but I have no right. I really don’t want to be with him. Didn’t I just confirm that? I just want to use him. He can sleep with anyone he wants to.

  ###

  The next morning my head pounds from last night’s music and smoke… And what almost happened. I pour myself a glass of orange juice. The house is quiet; Mr. and Mrs. Knight are at work and Evie and Emmy went to Grandpa Knights for the day. I tried calling Roxie, but Third and she are going to “talk” so I am alone to my own devices. Maybe I will eat that tube of chocolate chip cookies that I have been eyeballing. Chocolate has a way of erasing the memories of bad decisions. Hell, I might not even change my clothes or brush my hair or teeth. What would those boys think of me then? they sure wouldn’t want to kiss me anymore. I smile, feeling a little better in my full rebellion mode.

  I pull the tube out of the fridge and begin the task of preparing the cookies feeling like I am some sort of Martha Stuart. I smile to myself as I scoop out spoonfuls of cookie dough. Each one loosening the knot in my stomach. One for the pan, one for me. One for the pan, two for me. I soon find a rhythm, even doing a little dance while I scoop. Scoop, scoop, shake, shake-

  “What are you doing?”

  I let out a squeal, dropping the tube. Spinning around, I see Dylan standing behind me in a pair of black sweat pants with no shirt, of course. The boy has developed a shirt phobia lately. He is so doing that on purpose, but I am immune to his shirtless chest or the deep lines that travel across the planes of his stomach. A map I want to explore. No, I don’t want to go down that road again. They do not affect me the slightest bit. I don’t have to curl my toes in until I get a cramp because they make heat spread down my legs to my toes and I am not trying to keep that feeling for as long as possible. No.

  His pale, well-defined abs shine against the afternoon sun that sneaks into the kitchen. His brows are raised and he wears a stupid crooked grin on his face. I have the urge to punch him. Or kiss him. No! No, I want to slap him. Yeah, he will not be smiling if I smack it off his face.

  “Humph. Making cookies.” I turn back to my attempt at baking and finish scooping them out.

  “It looks like you are doing more eating than baking.” He steps in behind me so closely that his chest is pressed against my back, making me suck in a deep breath. The heat from his closeness dances off the back of my legs. He lingers. He must know that he is driving me crazy. He then takes his finger, sticking it in the tube I hold and scoops out some. “Tasty,” he breathes into my ear, sending chills down my spine. My heart aches. I want to turn around and fling myself in his arms. God. He is making me so insane one moment that I hate him, the next, I want to jump his bones and suck his face off. I need to get a grip on things. If he wants to play, I will play, two can play this game, and I am a master at it.

  Chapter 13.

  Dylan

  I wake up and roll over and text Katie that I would not be meeting her and her friends for our prep class, before heading upstairs. I need to talk to Barbie to figure things out before I call it quits with Katie. I begin to feel guilty again, knowing that I need to end things with Katie; it is not fair for me to string her along when I have feelings for someone else. However, it’s not that easy. Not able to think about it anymore, I take the stairs two at a time, in need of a serious chocolate milk fix right now.

  I skid to a halt as I come into the kitchen and I see her with her back to me. My eyes travel up the length of her body, starting at her ridiculous, fuzzy sock covered feet, I continue up her legs that stick out of pink and purple polka dot pajama shorts. Her back is bare and my eyes linger on the dimples at the bottom of her back. She wears a pink sports bra and is doing a dance as she scoops something onto a pan. I bite at my bottom lip to stifle back a laugh that is bubbling up in me. It is amusing to see her when she thinks no one is watching her. That wall she has built up between us is gone. She scoops out another scoop and shimmies to the right. I am more than content to stand here all day and watch her. I could watch her forever, but I don’t want to be that creepy stalker ex so I make my presence known. I clear my throat, but she continues her little dance.

  I watch her a little longer. “What are you doing?” I finally ask.

  She squeals, dropping whatever was in her hand onto the counter with a loud bang. She turns around, spinning to see me standing behind her. Her eyes go big as they travel the length of my body. I am glad I didn’t throw on a shirt when I came upstairs. I can’t help smirking as I cock my brows at her. I want to tease her for staring. I want to hear her flirtatious response that she used to use on me.

  “Humph… making cookies,” she says, turning her back on me. Wait that’s not good.

  “It looks like you are doing more eating than baking,” I tease trying to get her to look at me.

  She flips one of her braids over her shoulders and ignores me. Yeah, well, I don’t plan on being ignored; I walk up behind her so my chest presses up against her back. She takes a sharp intake of breath and I smile to myself, I still have that effect on her. She can act like she hates me all she wants, but she must still have feelings for me. Why else would she be rod straight right now?

  I lean in. I mean to say some smart ass remark, but she smells so damn good, my mind goes blank. My body instantly responds to being this close to her. All I want to do is touch her to feel the spark of electricity that happens when we touch. My heart is pounding like crazy. I need to say something, or do something, to cover up the sudden dumb fondness I am struck with.

  I stick my finger in the cookie dough, scooping some out. “Tasty,” I say, my lips grazing her ear. I take a deep breath, breathing in that sweet, sugar smell of hers. She spins around, her chest now pressed against mine and I want to close any distance between us, but I remain still and hold my ground.

  Her chest rises and falls. “What do you think you are doing?” she gasps.

  “What?” I shrug innocently. I thought after last night… But I thought wrong, she is back to being defensive.

  She places her hand on my chest and begins to push me back. “You know exactly what you are doing.” Her lip curls up and I want to lean in to kiss the tilt of her mouth. I wrap my hand around her wrist; it is so small in my hand. She stills, her eyes meeting mine, something flashes in them and I cannot read them because as fast as it came it’s gone. I keep a hold of her wrist, relishing in the small hum that is coming from this one, small interaction and I don’t know when I will get to feel her again.

  “Dylan-” Her voice sounds small, almost like a dream. “-we can’t.”

  “We aren’t.” She bites at her bottom lip, contemplating this, “Barbie, we can be friends; we live in the same house for God’s sake. Just friends.” I take a step back, dropping her hand, which kills me inside, but if I don’t, I will have her running skittish. I need to wave my white flag and take it tentatively with her.

  She looks at my chest. “Friends?”

  I smile and repeat her, confirming it. “Friends.”

  “How about I make us some breakfast to celebrate our new friendship,”

  “I don’t know…”

  “That is what friends do, make each other breakfast.” She cocks her eyebrow at me. Okay, so the closest I came to ever making Third breakfast was tossing him a box of fruit loops. “Come on, I am free all day. Let’s just try it, let’s try to be friends. Give me a chance and if I screw up, you go back to hating my guts.” I give her my best smile, the one that usually gets me out of trouble with my mom.

  “Okay-” She nods still unsure. “-but what about Katie?” her brows furrow in concern. Crap. I don’t want her to think about Katie, I don’t want to think abo
ut Katie. I want her to think about the stolen moments that we have shared.

  “She has some study group she is at so I am free to hang today. Just friends Barbie…” This seems to ease her. “Go get dressed and I will take care of breakfast.” She backs out of the kitchen without another word.

  I shove the messy drops of chocolate chip cookies into the oven before heading to the fridge to find something to make us for breakfast. I push past the eggs and grab the milk and chocolate syrup. Hmmm. What to make?

  I am finishing up the last touches of breakfast when Barbie comes back into the kitchen. She stands in the doorway, her hair is wet and tiny drips of water fall to the floor around her bare feet. She is wearing one of my old t-shirts she salvaged from Mom who was going to take them to the thrift store. It is a yellow Pac Man t-shirt; it is now my favorite shirt. She cut the neck out of it so that it hangs off her right shoulder, exposing the bronzed skin underneath. She has on a pair of cutoff shorts that on most girls would be a little too short, but on her, they are perfect. This is her and I love her for it. I want to drop to my knees and confess my love to her again, to beg her to take me back, again.

  “Breakfast is served.” I motion to the island that holds a small buffet of two chocolate milks, warm chocolate chip cookies, and two large ice cream sundaes.

  “Breakfast?” A smile tugs at the corner of her lips and I smile back.

  “Yep, this is the breakfast of champions, and I thought that we would need one for the day’s plan.” I smile. She rolls her eyes and slips onto the stool and I follow, sitting next to her. I could have set us at the table, but then I would not be as close to her as I am now.

  “Wouldn’t you like to put on some clothes?” She takes a bite out of a cookie.

  “Na.” I stretch my arms above my head. “Unless it bothers you,” I challenge her leaning back.